Rollin' with the Roby's


Monday, August 24, 2015

In Memory...


Thursday night, Aug 20th..at about 9:50...I got a call from my dad...I knew what he was going to say before I even answered...He had called to tell me, my great aunt, Betty Fay had passed away! He had just arrived at the lake...so, I immediately got in my car and went to Manor Park where she lived..to be there with my mom(Dad got back in the car and drove back 2 1/2 hours to be home with mom)...where we stayed until after midnight...and then once I got home stayed on the phone with my sister for another hour...and let's just say, I am grateful Travis was able to take Ty to school Friday morning...
Betty Fay never married; therefore, had no children of her own. My Gram (her sister) was her best friend and they were always together...so that meant, BF was always around our families! My Gram passed away when I was in 6th grade (my granddaddy Mac passed when my mom was little)...but, BF picked up and took care of my mom and her sisters as my Gram would..and in turn, they took care of her! 
She got on to us like we were her own children...and although I never got onto for having a messy room(can't say that for my sister.haha) I did give she (and my Gram) a few minor heart attacks with my, as I like to call them, adventurous ways..haha..like opening a car door and falling out! haha! yup, my poor Gram and BF! and if we didn't help our mother out like she thought we should...we were reprimanded..no matter how old we were! lol. 

She loved the Cabin in Ruidoso and was up there every summer since it was built in 1942...until a few years back when her health declined and her back wouldn't allow the trip up there...but she truly enjoyed it..and we all hated that she just couldn't get back up there! 

She lived independently up until the last few months of her life...including driving..ha! She was very sharp and had a good memory. The last year was pretty tough on her...she was in and out of the hospital several times..and seemed that right when she got back into her home..something would happen and she wound up back in the hospital. Which she hated every time..and we hated for her. 
About 2 weeks ago she was diagnosed with lung cancer...someone who never smoked..but, dr's contributed to age and the fact she had pneumonia 2 times in that year.  In one week, the x ray showed her cancer had spread exponentially...so, my mom made the hard decision to place her under Hospice care so she could just remain comfortable and be able to go home...so, after a few days of getting pain under control with oral meds...she was released back to manor park but in the nursing home care under hospice. She was doing good and seemed pain was controlled..but, then last friday, she had a bad night and was in pain. so, nurses adjusted meds...we checked on her everyday that weekend..and seemed her sharpness was wearing off..she always would wake up when she heard me say, "betty fay" and pop up and greet my kids..since they were always with me. 1) b/c they are my posse and 2) b/c they would always bring a smile to her face. She LOVED the fact Claire called her, "Fay"..she got the biggest smile about that! Sunday after church we stopped in and she complained of nausea (which was frequent) so travis tracked her nurse down to get some meds...but she was having a hard time finding her words...I contributed that to being in pain and b/c she was in a very deep sleep and still waking up. 
2 of my aunts had stopped in that weekend as well and had the same experience. In the next few days, she had difficulty swallowing...which meant, she couldn't get her pain meds. but, there was one where the nurses could administer via syringe in her mouth..
That week we had checked on her and on thursday after going to sams me and the girls stopped in to check on her again..and she would never wake up for us....so,  we watched her sleep for awhile and then left. My mom went during her lunch break (as she did everyday) and BF didn't wake for her either. 
My mom was called that night with the news BF had passed away in her sleep. 

Although we are happy for her that she is no longer in any pain and is in Heaven with her favorite people...my Gram and her parents...we are saddened for selfish reasons that she is gone! Doesn't seem  real. 
My mom took care of her everyday, multiple times a day,  for the past few years  (on top of a full time job running a school, and being a wife, mom and mom-mom,) when she moved from Big Spring to Manor Park..so my mom definitely feels a big void in her life...and I joke...we will have to find her something else to do b/c now she will be bored! haha! or maybe she'll finally slow down...which is our hope..but nevertheless, she will miss BF immensely and BF will miss her and was lucky to have her the last few years! 

This was the first death experience for my kids...obviously, claire doesn't know what's going on at the age of 21M, Hanna has a big clue...and just says BF is in Heaven and Ty fully understood..a lot more than I anticipated..kinda caught me off guard. But, at the same time glad he did!

Per her request, she will be cremated and we will have a small family service for her in abilene..next to her parents sometime in the next week or so.

My mom, sister and I went to start cleaning out her apartment over the weekend...and although it was a surreal time..it was neat seeing all the sentimental memorabilia she has..which made the cleaning out process last a lot longer than expected...but good memories were thought of! and it took a whole garbage sack to fill up all the tupperware she kept.haha..being a product of the depression..she was frugal and kept all plastic things and re-used them..haha! (which, we may or may not have been passed down..hehe). 

She lead a great life and almost made it to 92! we will miss her indeed but celebrate the life she had! 

This was a pic we found cleaning out her house..it was taken about 10 years ago...but, was a great picture! 




this was taken this summer on her first trip to the rehab at manor park...she gave hanna a little ride in her wheel chair..haha!




my kids loved to visit no matter where she was..in her house, in the hospital, in reheb or nursing home...1) to show off and 2) she always had raisenettes...and gave them to the kids!


We love you Betty Fay aka "Fay" and will miss you! 





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